I repeat, RYAN WANTS A BABY!
Well, he’s starting to warm up to the idea of having one soon it seems! Ryan struggled to talk about getting married for the first few years of our relationship, so needless to say we didn’t talk a whole lot about babies. One step at a time haha
We both knew that we wanted kids so we aligned on that, but other than that we took baby steps to talking about babies.
After we got engaged we started to talk about it more, but nothing too crazy. We honestly still haven’t had many conversations about when to start trying.
Melissa has made a few comments about wanting to be pregnant before she’s 30 and I keep saying 5 years every year. If I’m being realistic at this point, I’d say we are within 3 years.
We joined a YouTube course hosted by the great YouTuber Ali Abdaal and in one of our first lessons he mentioned a book called Unconditional Parenting.
The name intrigued me. I like to think of myself as an unconventional person so it made its way into my Amazon cart shortly after he mentioned it.
While checking out, Amazon suggested a book called The Whole Brained Child and that stood out to me as well. So needless to say, I picked up these two parenting books.
I’m in the final 20% of Unconditional Parenting now and it has made me start to think about what my values are and what type of child I want to raise.
What stood out to me the most was how society creates an ideal that an obedient child is a successful child. He gives the example of being on an airplane and after the flight, someone says “Your child was so good.” But the child was considered “good” because it didn’t disturb the people around it. Kind of an interesting way to think of raising a kid.
The point of the book is to emphasize that as parents we need to show our children unconditional love and not push them into a mold or beliefs we have for them. I’ve never thought about that before. I take it as getting into their world and seeing life through their eyes.
Anyways, this book has really made me think about the long-term goals I’d have for raising a kid. I want to create a child that is curious, confident, playful, loving, and creative. It’s made me take a step back and explore my fears around parenting and how I can withhold my POV when shaping a child. To look at all of my wounds and make an attempt to not pass those along.
Aside from this little reflective book report, I feel like I’m starting to notice kids a lot more and just how cute they are. I really can’t wait to create some with Melissa and to embark on the challenging journey of creating little humans that take the best in us and feel comfortable discarding the parts of us they don’t like.
So do I want a baby now? As of today, I want to hold off still. But we’re getting close!